Fading

Where are you now? What are you doing? I really need to know. The lack of you is beginning to become unbearable. Don't get me wrong. I know your body is here, but I miss YOU (your absence is an insatiable bulimic devouring my guts). Why did you leave me? Why did you decide to slowly fade away? Pain and thunder and rain and lightening over my amphibious skin. I wish I wasn't that good at healing. I wish my thousand wounds were visible scars, sacrosanct stigmas, a wrecked body for a wicked soul (your silence, the gallows; my pride is the rope). Orphan tongues, dirty spit, barren mouths. I kiss the bottle and swallow that you're gone. Another tight night unable to blur the shade of you, stuttering delusions squeezing my heart and an unmerciful dawn ready to stab my remaining hopes. It's not over til it's over, but we laid down the arms at the first scent of war.